"There's a reason for everything..."

CANCER. It's big, it's bad and it's attacking my friend, Lynn. Today, I received one of her infrequent letters giving me progress on her life. I was waiting to hear about an update about her prognosis and hopefully good news about her passing her medical boards. This email was nothing of the kind. It was the proverbial white flag of defeat. Oh sure, plenty of people get cancer and continue to live every day lives..well, at least that's what the Edwards' presidential campaign is touting. But Lynn has no slick media people to tell her what to say or not to say. Her words were from the heart and her heart in this letter is fucking pissed off. The cancer is worse than she thought and she's sick already of the platitudes of "things happen for a reason" and "you're a strong woman". The cancer diagnosis was just one in the long line of insulting life situations that has seemed to follow her like some perverse, psychotic admirer. And she has chosen, due to her homeopathic training, to pursue a more natural way to fight the beast. I've been thinking about her all night long. Her words saying "I'm not going to do chemo or radiation" and wondering if I would know what to do in her situation. But, it's not my life to choose, is it? My words back to her tonight were simple . There were no calming words saying "let's fight this." I simply said "give me a weekend and I'll send you plane ticket." I cannot make this big black bo bo go away nor would I try. She has a medical degree. She knows the risks more than any googling the Mayo Clinic I could do. Now it's time for me to be a friend, talk openly and frankly with her, drink wine, paint our toes, talk about men together, and listen.